Graceful Tension

Anyone who said it easy
to forgive another
by another to be forgiven,
did not grasp
or let go,
the tension of the space
the hold of such grace.

And there you are, standing
quietly, openly, and lovingly
in that graceful tension.

To stand, effortless you know
it certainly is not
there in presence, often taut,
but there you are
by choice,
for us holding gratitude and generosity, the two
because first, they both were given to you.

But steadfast remain, those we need
like you, powerful with love
empowering us in impartiality.

Your desire encouraging, your intent inspiring
leading us simply
your Trueness, and mine, an equalizer,
forgiveness a relief
to suffering,
and together then, each paradox we live,
and presently, in presence, to each other we give.

–J. Brunson

Accompanying Post: A Flight of Gratitude

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Transforming Trueness – Desire & Intent (Shaping Can be Painful)

Suffering it may seem
and so suffering it is;
but impairing it is not.

−verse 2 of Transforming Trueness (Repose)

The life sciences perpetually teach us about the natural, life-giving tension of transition, and therefore transformation. We observe it collectively in the transition of nature through the overall transformative flow of seasons.

Change, as we most often use the word in western society, is momentary−usually focused on some specific. Transition may fire off some change, but it is never limited to one specific. Transition differs from change in that, while fired possibly from a specific, it immediately begins to connect across the spectrum−across the internal and the external, across individual and collective.

Robert has been an important part of my work for years. He has sent many individuals my way giving me the privilege of Coaching in his diverse treasure of connection. He is a courageous individual who stands consistently firm in his brand of leadership love. But for Robert it has not been a steady, upward progress in his leadership journey or in his overall evolution as an individual.

Robert has suffered.

I admire much about this man. He has often felt guilty about the times we’ve talked through some of this suffering; a guilt focused on the mere technicality of not being currently engaged in a “paying” coaching process. For me these times of conversation were a smart business move as I simply cared for someone who has been a partner in building my practice. But mostly, and deeply, it has been about doing what I can for someone I love and respect.

So perhaps the purpose of experience is to wear us free of our names. −Mark Nepo, Seven Thousand Ways to Listen

The tension of transition may indeed feel like suffering. And if it feels like such, then for you it is suffering. And hence the pain in transition−it is not some thing being made different, it is You. We are always being shaped; shaped by forces internal and external and by influences individual and collective.

Change, some thing made different, is just that; specific and focused. Transition serves a broad evolution. Change is doing something in a different way. Transition is doing different things. So yes, transition is evidence of life flowing in and through the individual. And yes, transition does not always feel good.

Indeed, Robert has suffered; and many times he was his own worst enemy. However, not all causes of his suffering were self-inflicted. Through each suffering Robert’s spirit would reenergize as he would consciously root a bit deeper into the soil of his Trueness.

Yes, it can be painful to have the name we may have assumed in our life worn away. Or, as Mark Nepo suggests, we may rather embrace experience as the story of a larger, truer name.

Like Robert, your Trueness can keep each suffering from impairing you into a downward spiral of despair, never to return. If you do not stop the spiral, the world will be horribly cheated.

The reality is that we come through our suffering stronger, better, Truer; and all are blessed in the process!

BCL Blog 4

Our Inner Territory – The Freedom of Desire & Intent

In our world of work it can become far too easy to walk into our space of supposed expertise, close a metaphorical door, do our own thing, and never be truly observed in this work by our own self or any other outside entity. While we are very often tempted to claim this cloistered behavior as a preference, deep inside we know we are conspiring against something “true” desiring to be sharply present.

Throughout my career, amid diverse opportunities, I have witnessed (and experienced) the fear associated with sudden freedom; a moment of realization beamed on the true self. The fear can emanate in a question as to whether the other, who has shown me my self, can be trusted or not, and fear also arises from a question as to whether this exposed self can be trusted−even though it is supposedly Me!

Brian is the coaching client who confessed, as I was trying to coral him into getting our first session on the calendar, that he might need some prodding to keep personal development at the top of his to-do list. In our fourth session Brian was finding himself vulnerable and exposed as the new level of awareness opened abruptly into his unique Desire & Intent.

It as at that point that he chuckled, and then apologized for same. It seems he had texted his wife (who knows my work), “Jeff Brunson is hurting my head.” The chuckle had come at her response, “He is just showing you, You!”

Desire & Intent, in its singular sense, is the Impact of your presence−providential permission to be with both self and the other.

It is at this Impact point where we find our originally intended courage to be Free.

See companion truth – Our Outer Accountability – Living Desire & Intent

Listen Deeply – Desire & Intent

Consciousness and awareness employed deliver blessings from the most unexpected moments.

It may have been one of the sweetest things I have ever seen; the look in this little boy’s clear eyes.

We were on a Saturday afternoon walk when our neighbor was driving in and stopped to speak, her precious daughter and son in their safety seats in the back. We spoke to the children and the adults talked a bit. That is when Phillip spoke something to us, eyes fixed somewhere in eternity: “I miss my Grandma.”

Upon realizing the words, and seeing those eyes, our own gaze shifted to Phillip’s mom who told us of her mother-in-law’s unexpected passing.

What connection there is in this child’s life. As I am still connected to my own Grandmother after all these years, so will he be. Phillip’s Grandma is part of who he is as she lived a form of listening that flows in his very soul; and will be spoken to the world for years to come in his own profound desire.

Honor the reality of your desire; Listen!

In this deep, Grandma inspired listening, you allow the vision of intent to cooperate with desire and form a congruent method of release into this 21st Century age of consciousness and awareness.

It will not be Desire & Intent that gives Phillip purpose. It will be encoded purpose leading him in the evolution of his Desire & Intent.

Thanks to his Grandma his own Desire & Intent will unfold into his Living Methodology.

A Flow to Simplicity through Reach

What do you need to further your reach as a leader?

In the intro entry to A Soul Dance I wrote about George and his voice/value of Clarity. In our session after that writing, George found his personal purpose statement: “I Guide Others to Put Their What before Their How.”

Simple isn’t it?

Remember, simplicity is a specifically spoken purpose. From deep inward, encoded purpose begins your reach outward.

Our garage is under our kitchen. To bring in the groceries, or unload anything, there are stairs to negotiate. I’m sometimes out-negotiated as I try to tote too much upward (by-the-way, tote is a good Southern term for carry). I am certain you can identify with this “biting off more than you can chew.”

What do you need to further your reach as a leader?DSCN0787

Could it be the answer begins with trusting encoded purpose? Purpose is the wholesome bite that can, and will, serve you in each situation.

The reach of your unique Desire & Intent is rooted in simple, guiding purpose; bringing us into your wonderful story … impacted by your brand of love as a leader.

Step into the Middle of Desire & Intent

The river … From source to sea it is one flow; nowhere does it pile up. … From source to sea, it is one unbroken song of flow−ever changing yet always one. … If only our lives could achieve, or indeed allow, such grace and elegance. −John O’Donohue, Beauty

Think of your leadership Desire & Intent as a flow−a nourishing river for you and others. As a leader you have the flow you need. It is the rhythmic power of 3 that is your answer to the desire and intent question.

Compelled from the foundation of desire, pulled into action by intent, you find yourself in the middle with the accountability of your impact.

If we could but find a rhythm of being which could balance a contemplative grace, a poetry of motion and an accompanying stillness and silence, our pilgrimage through this world would flow in beauty through the most ragged and forsaken heartlands of confusion and dishevelment. −John O’Donohue

Those who follow your loving lead depend on the frequency that is intrinsically felt in the rhythm of your Desire & Intent.

As a leader, it is in this river of practice where you catch all the rich content that is so masterfully blended in the creative tension of the middle; a unique union of your desire and intent … a song of flow.

Letting Go into Desire & Intent

Lisa and I worked together the first time shortly after she joined the organization as assistant to the development director. She is one of the most talented people I know. Her strength of process is a wonderful thing to observe.

When we met at the coffee shop, she had just moved into the vacated position of development director. We were meeting to talk about board development. I began our time together by stating that all we were about to do related to that topic, although it would probably not seem like such for a bit.

In my observation of Lisa at work, I saw something unique I could not quite describe. So, the first thing I did in our meeting was ask her to complete a personality profile. Bingo, there was the unique pattern I had observed. Before I could thoroughly explain this, Lisa asked, “Do you think I’m a good fit for this position?” Hell yes, was my immediate response−and I spent the next hour showing her why I felt so strongly in the affirmative.

You see, Lisa “had” this position; no question. It was a no-brainer. However, she had gone to the Executive Director and compelled an interview where she presented her 3-5 year plan. I asked Lisa the Desire & Intent question. She shared her answers. I then had her look at them while I asked if she could sort the detail of her 3-5 year plan under the points. She immediately said she could. “Then go and do that,” I said. “Because that is the guide for board development.”

Lisa’s plan is simply the active unfolding of her Desire & Intent. The unfolding is about seeing all things as purposeful as she moves along. Desire speaks only truth from her core. Intent grows from a need greater than herself.

Desire gives us voice to sing a song of purpose−a song with soul cleansing properties. We become like the elevated stream that is simply more consistent with its melody.
Wading the Stream of Awareness

(Desire & Intent Chapter)

See sister post, Release Desire & Intent into Skill 2