Active Love

Maxine is a wonderful spirit. She has a very rare and unique personality profile combining a driving love for human connection with incredible ability to process complex detail. Maxine left me a voice message saying she had a story to tell me about practicing in one of the strategies we scripted into her development story. I love a good story, so I was very pleased when she followed up the voice message with an email.

Many times, practicing a new strategy is a risk. To take no risk is to have no control in the situation. Control is not the objective however. To need control is the old confidence. For Maxine, it is about living with expectation – A New Confidence found in connection.

Maxine wrote to me about a particular meeting where the goal was to gain approval on a project development document she had created. While her document contained the supporting points, she settled on one clear message point prior to the gathering. This gave her the courage to clearly address the points as they aligned with the one clear message and respected the interests and needs of her audience (a walk among the flowers versus a roll in the weeds).

It takes courage to be a guide – to go where others fear to go. The respect given through Maxine’s preparation was generously returned in the participant interactions. Participants were asking her questions directly. They believed she could provide clear, useful answers.

Maxine’s actions shifted participant perception of her from just a speaker about the initiative to a leader in the initiative.

Maxine’s provision for flow quickened the engagement for which she hoped. Purpose was felt full-force when a major player asked to work with her on further refinement.

Realize that it is not how you feel that determines how you act; rather it is how you act that determines how you feel. -William James (1842-1919)

Maxine told me how she felt calm and confident after this expert practice and demonstration of leadership. In conscious presence, Maxine is building connection as she loudly lives her brand of love.

2 thoughts on “Active Love

  1. This quote really speaks to me:

    Realize that it is not how you feel that determines how you act; rather it is how you act that determines how you feel. -William James (1842-1919)

    It reminds me of a phrase I heard once, that I always go back to: “Successful people feel the fear but they go for it anyway. Those who fail, don’t really fail–they simply give up to soon.”

  2. That clarity of focus is so important. I was struck by the idea of “settling on one clear message point” and it made me realize that I sometimes dilute my message and leadership by trying to address everything at once with a “shotgun” approach. Thanks for giving me this to think about, Jeff (and Maxine).

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