Just before heading out to my favorite place to write, I received the following text from a long-time friend:
“A melancholy day … despite being aware of great blessings, can’t seem to shake a focus on recent failures …”
My suspicion – just because I know his story – is that he has taken a trip to the past. Regret in the past and fear in the future pull us away from all that is good. And all that is good is here in our now.
Absent of purpose, one launches on these sudden trips out of the present. This descent from presence exposes one to the terribleness of the mother of the thing one fears – the deadliness of self-judgment.
Self-judgment is self-indulgence. It was not a pleasant realization when I discovered this about myself, but at the same time it was very freeing. While declaring independence from self-judgment, I still remain attentive to the necessary battles that must be fought to remain independent – to remain in the power of the present.
I must fight for the right to be present in order to fulfill the accountability of my presence.